Turning point.

I've been alone for 3 hours just listening to music. Not thinking. Just getting lost in the lyrics in each song. Some sad songs, some angry songs, some happy songs. All emotions I feel daily. I feel that I am at peace with being alone most nights. I'm learning to find my smile in my own ways. I'm ready to let go of the pain, anger, and hurt. I'm ready to forgive myself for my part in the downfall. For me to do that I have to begin to pave my own path. Let go of everything completely, take a deep breath and 100% give everything to fate. I'm laying down my armor. It's time to find my inner self. Find out who Sam is now. Deal with how much I have changed as a person. How much cancer changed me and effected my outlook on life. Life is so short and tomorrow is never promised. Everyday that I am not smiling and being happy is a day I'm never going to get back. Too many days are passing with anger and tears. It's only spinning me in circles. I'm too dizzy to stay on this path.

I've reached the top of the hole... The sun is beating down on my skins Time to pick up that ax and start paving that new path. The path that is filled with self realization that only I define who I am. Only I know who I am. Only I can make myself happy. I have so much love to give. I'm ready to give that love to someone who wants just as much back.... Myself. I'm so proud of the person I have become. I've worked hard to come this far. I've got my dream job... I live in the beautiful mountains of western NC. And my biggest accomplishment is fighting for my life with everything I have. I find joy in helping other people be, and stay inspired. I have come so far in this life of mine. I am at peace with who I am.

Too many times I see and hear people settle for less than they deserve. I have a wild imagination. I have big dreams. In my mind life is just like a fairy tale. I'm a princess. I give love and I give life to others. I have this ability to change peoples life's. I will take a lost soul, show them love, unconditional love, help them find their direction in life. And just like some fairy tales you have to set them free. There is another lost soul in need.... Mine. It's time for me to heal myself. Only because I deserve nothing else. I've watched people love me over the years and I want to feel all that same love within my own soul.